Smuv's Random Thoughts

There’s a book on that…

smuv — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:24:23 +0000

This is for you, you sexy book worm, who always manages a way to tell me about “books”…

The Lady Mechanic’s Total Car Care for the Clueless: A Manual for Car Owners

http://www.amazon.com/Lady-Mechanics-Total-Care-Clueless/dp/0312187335/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202858619&sr=1-2

“How to bake Cookies”

http://www.amazon.com/Recipe-Week-Cookies-Recipes-Year-round/dp/0471921904/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202858464&sr=8-1

How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale (Hardcover)

http://www.amazon.com/Make-Love-Like-Porn-Star/dp/0060539097/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202858542&sr=1-1

Long live for the pursuit of knowledge!!!

What “NOT” to say to little kids….

smuv — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:28:15 +0000

Since someone is starting to build a new page, on kids.. I think its appropriate that I help by writing a blog on things “NOT” to say to little kids (children)…

“Come here, I got candy…”

“Its our little secret okay…”

“Jesus juice makes you closer to Jesus…”

“I got cookies, come in the house… “

“Show me your happy place..”

“Would you like a ride…”

Keeping children safe… smuV

Cool Tshirts..

smuv — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:16:19 +0000

We all have them, those T-shirts that we like to wear, cause we like to do our own self expressions… I do admit I have a few in my collection, but I would not mind adding these…

Source: http://www.bustedtees.com/

Source: http://www.prankplace.com/

Now where’s my shirt?

Who knows all about your SINS?

smuv — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:44:20 +0000

Sometimes a picture is worth a 1000 words!

Source: http://craphound.com/images/53_ch7.jpg

I better start praying!

Things NOT To Say, When Applying To Work With Children…

smuv — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:13:49 +0000

“Can I wear alternative outfits?”

“Can I video tape the children?”

“Can I serve them jesus juice?”

“Can I swim with the children?”

“Can I touch the children” (definitely a NO)

If you even think about the things above, you might have a future interview with Chris Hansen!!!

Just looking out for your peeps out there…

And a groom to match…

smuv — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:55:06 +0000

So with the topic below,

“Toilet Paper Wedding Gowns“

what would be the obvious groom to match?

A sanitation worker?

A grocery market clerk?(they do aisle cleanups!)

I would think the best match would be a Plumber?

Sporting Plumbers Crack.. smuv

Toilet Paper Wedding Gowns

smuv — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:42:45 +0000

I normally receive tons of “JUNK” email and “SPAMS” from friends.. but this email that I have received from a friend, truly got me wondering and thinking… I applaud these women for their creativity, and patience in generating gowns, from toilet paper… But at the same time, I cannot help but laugh, and smirk a little bit, cause it seems kinda sad, and pathetic… thus the word, “PATHETISAD” is coined..

Check out the talents!

2007 Winner!

Source:http://www.cheap-chic-weddings.com/wedding-contest-2007.html

2006 Winner:

Source: http://www.cheap-chic-weddings.com/wedding-contest-2006.html

Maybe I am just jealous, cause they do not make toilet paper, big enough for my hour glass fat shape! LOL..

But wait.. there might still be hope..

Now if I can only roll around, and dry/clean the kitchen floor!

Lost In Translation

smuv — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:23:57 +0000

There are moments in life, where you say the right words, but somehow fail at it during delivery.. For example.. You can say the following words, but yet if you change your tone of voice, it may get lost in translation..
Sexy Voice: “Oh yeah baby.. ” a romantic gesture saying you are doing great job…

Creepy Voice: “Oh yeah baby.. ” is the queue of Chris Hansen to come out.

Hmmm let me have a do-over and say that again….

Gun’s don’t kill people, bullets do!

smuv — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:03:03 +0000

Its been a long stereo-type that guns are a male extension of our penises… It is because….

- Like guns, penises are also loaded with bullets?

- Like gun, you have to slide the penis back and fourth for maximum efficiency?

- Is eating oysters, like loading bullets?

I do not know about you, but yesterday I fired my first round of shot.. and it was great….

The Long Weekend =)

smuv — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:07:52 +0000

People has always wondered, what is it that I do, for the long weekend? Since I normally have 3 day weekends, some work policy regarding working 4 days, and 10 hour days.. . Well sometimes, I go out, and dance the night away..

But there are times that I just simply catch up on things, mainly getting groceries at midnight, or eating a late dinner.. I dont know why, but I find simplicity in some of the things I do. I think I enjoyed more, getting groceries, than sweating it out in the dance floor… Hmmmmm what a strange night..

I guess that what makes the weekend even longer…